This year Spiritual Directors International hosted another wonderful conference (first year hybrid!) with the theme of Engage.  One of the workshops I really appreciated was Cindy Lee’s "Decolonizing the Spiritual Direction Space" where Dr. Lee explored hospitality and the power dynamic within a spiritual guidance relationship with BIPOC and facilitated practices she calls movements of spaciousness for BIPOC seekers. 
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Dr. Lee referenced Margaret Gunther’s text Holy Listening and Gunther’s theme of hospitality on the part of the spiritual director. Yet, Lee turned the question around and asked what if it’s the seeker who is the hospitable one, generously opening up to spiritual directors with their stories? With this posture, and especially as we meet with seekers with different identities than our own, we consider ways to be responsible with our power. We actively seek understanding about the impact of our roles, education, race, gender, ethnicity, class, ability, sexual orientation/affection, etc. This stance invites us to receive whatever stories are shared and be open to being changed by the stories.

Dr. Lee discussed ways to facilitate spaciousness in order for our companions to “access their sacredness”: 

1. “We decenter our story and recenter theirs. They decenter whiteness and recenter their own story.”
2. “We need a witness to help us trust our intuition.” Here, we are intentional about trusting the details of their story and we use discernment when asking questions. When we hear about an injustice, we don’t hesitate to call it out and name it for what it is.
3.  “We have a collective spirit [that we need to take care of]”. When we notice that the emotions our seekers are expressing are collective, we acknowledge that our seekers “are not their problems” and we name the emotions and feel the feelings together.
4. “We need imagination because the justice we all long for has never existed.” In the workshop, we considered how white spiritual directors tend to move to a hopeful stance about the future too quickly with the questions that are asked. Yet, as spiritual guides, it is not we who instill hope in our seekers, rather we create the conditions for spaciousness for them to express their truth, rest, and restore.

In her plenary talk, Yavilah McCoy also invited us to deepen our anti-racism work; she described the white supremacy cultural habit of urgency of time that emerges from domination and control. She remarked, “Yet, the universe has its own time.” 

I am left with questions like where do I need to slow down in my life? What inner work am I in need of doing so I can continue to do what is mine to do? I am grateful for SDI’s vision for the conference and speakers including Cindy Lee and Yavilah McCoy, among so many others, who have opened up new pathways for deepened connection with self, seekers, the natural world, and the Divine.
 

As a follow up to our previous post, Jeanette Banashak has just had an article published by Spiritual Directors International for their blog. Her article guides you through a complete practice of inviting a tree to be your spiritual director: "Trees as Spiritual Directors/Companions."

https://www.sdicompanions.org/trees-as-spiritual-directors-companions/

Whether you have been doing it for awhile now or have needed to switch due to the Covid-19,  most spiritual companions have been using Zoom, Skype, or the phone to meet with our clients/seekers/companions. One of the things we are promoting now is using the phone more than Zoom or Skype. This may seem like the opposite of what you might have thought.  After all, if we are in the service of relationships, shouldn’t we want to see our clients (especially those of us who were meeting in person up until mid-March)?
 
In an article entitled Why Is Zoom So Exhausting, Beckie Supiano explains several issues with the platform: “The body language and other cues that we expect but can’t access; the way we monitor our own appearance; the stimulation of staring into faces at close range; the inability to take a break, move, or change our surroundings.” Where Zoom used to be an opportunity – and still is – now it is an obligation in professional and personal relationships. Many of us are suffering from the void that we feel after the calls and meetings. 
 
Supiano suggests that using Zoom is exhausting because we have constant access to monitoring our own non-verbal cues. When we talk on the phone with our seekers, we obviously still lack the non-verbal cues, but we do not feel a need to self-monitor, and we are less distracted by our client’s movements. This frees us up to access our intuition and trust the knowing in our own bodies without the distraction of our seeker’s face. On Zoom there is little physical distance between you and your screen, which may have implications related to intimacy. On the phone, we do not have a face right in front of us, allowing space for proper intimacy. Talking on the phone also allows us to move; we can change locations or even walk and talk.
 
There are certainly benefits to each of the ways to connect in spiritual companionship. The questions we are discerning right now are which ways promote deeper connection, integrity, and attention, and which ways might hinder deeper connection?

Submitted by Jeanette Banashak

Drs. Banashak and Lundy discuss their individual calls to become spiritual directors-guides and wonder if you may be experiencing something similar. Have you heard or felt a call to serve others by being a spiritual companion? 

SGTI's next 18-mo. training program to become a spiritual director/guide with an interfaith-interspiritual focus begins August 27.

Note: This cohort will begin on time as SGTI is primarily an internet-based program. If the presence of Covid-19 makes the first Chicago Residential Institute unlikely, it will be rescheduled as soon as possible, but online learning will begin anyway. We are currently accepting applications and filling the cohort. We hope you will consider joining us! Contact us for an application. 

It's not unusual for any of us here at SGTI to be asked by someone, "What is spiritual guidance anyway?" Wonderful question!

In one of our early learning modules in the 18-month training program, students are asked a similar question: What is spiritual guidance? Here are some of their answers:

• Spiritual guidance is a form of helping relationship in which together, one is guided in the discernment and development of intimacy with the Divine. Through deep listening and in creating and holding sacred space, the spiritual guide listens into being the Divine Story of the seeker. (M.W.)

• Spiritual direction is a dedicated container for exploration of the inner life through the lens of the sacred or the deeply meaningful. A spiritual companion’s role is to hold safe, nonjudgmental space for your questioning, healing, and deepening in your spiritual life and your relationship with the Divine as you understand it, with the understanding that you are the authority on those topics. (C.O)
 
• "Seeker and guide create an interconnected orb in sacred space and time – an orb in which the Divine is invited to join.  In this sacred human/Divine triad intimacy between seeker and Divine grows.  Often the guide strengthens her own intimacy with the Divine." (C.R.)

​In a publication offered by Spiritual Directors International, "Portrait of a Spiritual Director," one gets a more complete picture of who spiritual companions are and the purpose they serve, their "call" and skillset, along with their hopes for the people they companion. It says:
 
"Spiritual directors or companions support the unique spiritual journey of every individual. They are welcoming and present with those they companion, listening and responding without being judgmental. They are contemplative and honor silence as a spiritual practice. They are intuitive spiritual friends—accountable and compassionate, hospitable and open, loving yet independent."

To read the essay in its entirety, visit this page.
Locate the link which says, "Click here for a printable pdf version of the "Portrait"

If you feel the call to explore spiritual companionship/guidance training yourself, we'd love to chat with you. We are already accepting applications for the 2020-2022 training program which begins in August. You can contact us here. 

This article authored by SGTI co-founder Janice Lundy is currently being featured on the Spiritual Directors International blog: 

"Many years ago when I was training to be a spiritual director, the kindly Sister who led the program made it very clear to us that spiritual guidance over the telephone was not acceptable. More specifically, that good spiritual guidance could not happen unless two people were face-to-face and the “third chair” was physically present in the room.
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Today, I know better and do offer spiritual guidance via Skype or over the telephone. I have found it to be a very useful modality benefitting some seekers, in some situations, but not all.  Without a doubt, it can have a providential outcome as I have experienced with seekers outside the U.S. (my home), homebound seekers, and those whose lives present varied and difficult circumstances in terms of travel, child-care needs, or work schedules. Grace can move through the ethers across telephone lines and satellite networks. Who are we to say it can’t?" ...

Read the article in its entirety here.